Diary

na jaane kis ki ye Diary hai

na nam hai, na pata hai koi:

har ek karwaT main yaad karta hun tum ko lekin

ye karwaTen lete raat din yun masal rahe hain mere badan ko

tumhaari yaadon ke jism par nil paD gae hain

ek aur safhe pe yun likha hai:

kabhi kabhi raat ki siyahi,

kuchh aisi chehre pe jam si jati hai

lakh ragDun,

sahar ke pani se lakh dhoun

magar wo kalak nahin utarti

milogi jab tum pata chalega

main aur bhi kala ho gaya hun

ye hashiye mein likha hua hai:

main dhup mein jal ke itna kala nahin hua tha

ki jitna is raat main sulag ke siyah hua hun

mahin lafzon mein ek jagah yun likha hai is ne:

tumhen bhi to yaad hogi wo raat sardiyon ki

jab aundhi kashti ke niche hum ne

badan ke chulhe jala ke tape the, din kiya tha

ye pattharon ka bichhauna hargiz na saKHt lagta jo tum bhi hotin

tumhein bichhata bhi oDhta bhi

ek aur safhe pe phir usi raat ka bayan hai:

tum ek takiye mein gile baalon ki bhar ke KHushbu,

jo aaj bhejo

to nind aa jae, so hi jaun

kuchh aisa lagta hai jis ne bhi Diary likhi hai

wo shahr aaya hai ganw mein chhoD kar kisi ko

talash mein kaam hi ke shayad:

main shahr ki is machine mein fiT hun jaise Dhibri,

zaruri hai ye zara sa purza

aham bhi hai kyun ki roz ke roz tel de kar

ise zara aur kas ke jata hai chief mera

wo roz kasta hai,

roz ek pech aur chaDhta hai jab nason par,

to ji mein aata hai zahr kha lun

ya bhag jaun

kuchh ukhDe ukhDe, kaTe hue se ajib jumle,

kahani wo jis mein ek shahzadi chaT leti hai

apni angushtari ka hira,

wo tum ne puri nahin sunai

kaDon mein sona nahin hai,

un par sunahri pani chaDha hua hai

ek aur zewar ka zikr bhi hai:

wo nak ki nath na bechna tum

wo jhuTa moti hai, tum se sachcha kaha tha main ne,

sunar ke pas ja ke sharmindagi si hogi

ye waqt ka than khulta rahta hai pal ba pal,

aur log poshaken kaT kar,

apne apne andaz se pahante hain waqt lekin

jo main ne kaTi thi than se ek qamiz

wo tang ho rahi hai!

kabhi kabhi is pighalte lohe ki garm bhaTTi mein kaam karte,

ThiThurne lagta hai ye badan jaise saKHt sardi mein bhun raha ho,

buKHar rahta hai kuchh dinon se

magar ye satren baDi ajab hain

kahin tawazun bigaD gaya hai

ya koi siwan udhaD gai hai:

farar hun main kai dinon se

jo ghup-andhere ki tir jaisi surang ek kan se

shurua ho ke dusre kan tak gai hai,

main us nali mein chhupa hua hun,

tum aa ke tinke se mujh ko bahar nikal lena

koi nahin aaega ye kiDe nikalne ab

ki un ko to shahr mein dhuan de ke mara jata hai naliyon mein